Well, I am home from my son's house, where we spent Christmas, and then had a 16th birthday party for my grandson. We drove to the party in a blizzard, back to my sons house in a blizzard, and on all snow and ice home to my house. My grandkids will be here this week, having spent last week with the other grandparents and aunts and uncles. This week I get them,well along with my great daughter. I am making chicken and noodles for supper, and ham and beans tomorrow.
I got an ipod and a Nintendo DS, for Christmas, I already have some songs downloaded but lots more to go. I am so new at this, but I love having this ipod. No more carrrying around cds and my walkman.
I also got some really cool pics of me with my grandkids, and the frames talk. Awesome. My other son gave me a framed picture with the words grandkids on it, in big letters, and then in cutouts in the letters are various pics of my grandkids with their grandpa, my late husband. It is awesome.
I fell a week before Christmas, breaking a rib and bruising the muscles in both arms, I am in a great deal of pain, but have decided to ignore it until all of my family leave. then I can deal with it. I just have to outwait the broken rib and work on my arms, the muscles are bruised and they (I feel) pissed at me. LOL.
Well as my mother used to say, it is too far from my heart to kiil me, so get over it. She was a kind and wonderful woman, but also a tough lady.
Well, that is all for today. I am hoping to keep writing in this every day, and get readership up.
Be good and enjoy your day!!!

Merry Christmas

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I do not think anybody reads this much, so maybe my new years resolution is too get people to read this, and to keep it up.
I hope everybody is healthy and safe this holiday weekend. I will be spending it with my kids and grandkids. It will be a hard Christmas but I have decided to celebrate my husband life and the kids and grandkids he loved, and not treat it with sadness but with lovely memories. He will be a part of this Christmas season in wonderful memories and in the faces of his grandkids, who loved and remember him with love and laughter. love Janice (glory2001) Christian

Update on my life

I am sorry I have neglected this blog, but here goes, and I will play catch up. Tomorrow, Nov, 14 will be 5 months ago that I lost my husband. It has been hard, as I look for him every morning and see him in my mind constantly. I still have him on my phone announcing,please leave a message. It does not freak me out, I enjoy hearing his voice. My kids and grandkids are also going through this with me, each dealing with it, in their own way and needs.
The daily task of dealing with bills, things breaking down,is pain in the butt, but I am coping, again with help from friends and kids. I went to my daughters a couple of weeks ago in Maryland, it is was a great break, and I loved spending time with them. I am looking forward to thanksgiving and hopefully spending more time with my son Eric, who lives about an hour and half from me. He is a very very busy teacher and coach, and I am very proud of him. My son Gary lives next door, and has physical challenges due to an auto accident. He helps me daily with yard work, breaking things, and just the days where everything goes wrong.
My challenge these
days is too lose weight,
eat healthier,
keep trying unclutter my house,

and make my scrapbooks and photo albums,
and keep this blog up to date.
Good luck to me, ha ha.

25 random things

25 random thingsShare
Friday, January 30, 2009 at 7:41pm | Edit Note | Delete
1. Love to read, almost anything
2. Love to dance, and used to be very good
3. I had a puppy once, named Meathead
4. I live in and grew up in the valley my grandpa and my dad were born in.
5. I started turning grey at 23, by 30 was mostly grey
6. I love movies, but not violent bloody movies
7. I collect all kinds of cd's
8. I am a packrat, trying to stop
9. I love to collect cookbooks, but very seldom every follow recipe exactly
10 I have three grandkids, who I adore
11.I flew last April for the first time in 40 years
12.I was very very shy in High school
13 I was admitted to college, but did not go, because I was terrified
14.Always had a secret wish to be a singer, unfortunately can't sing my way out of a sack.at least in tune
15.I am still trying to figure out some of the things on facebook
16.I was and still am a fan of the Beatles, when a teenager, I would have given anything to go to
England and marry one of them
17. As of June 14, I am a widow
18.I have a sarcastic sense of humor, both goofy and strange.
19.I love tv, CSI, NCIS, survivor, amazing race, and country music stations.
20.I love to garden, flowers and veggies.
21.I have always wanted to live on a ranch, but I am afraid of horses.
22.I have never wanted to live in the city,and I love country life.
23.I adore coffee, all kinds Also teas
24.Christmas is my favority holiday.
25.I have great kids, and I hope they know that I think that

veggie garden

I planted my veggie garden when my husband was alive, and taking chemo, so I planted good fresh veggies for protein and vitamins for him. When the C-Dif bacterial infection took him, I was left with a large garden with just me and my son. Well, the neighbors and friends will benefit, and I may give some to the our towns food bank. I am sure some of these people would love to have some of these veggies and they won't waste.
My gas dryer in my son's house quit, so I now get to figure out what is the best way to either fix it or replace it. My husband did not replace our washer and dryer and just used the one next door, and I am not happy with that scenerio, so I am going to figure out the cheapest way to get a washer and dryer fit into my house, and out of the basement(where they used to be, and we always got water).

update on bird and cats

Well, mama Wren kicked her babies out, and they could not fly, so they hopped over to the shady area by my house,(I am trying to make a woodsy forest floor garden there) and when last seen were attempting to fly. In the meantime mama Cat heard them so I had to keep an eye on her. She was busy moving her kittens, one died, as mama was in very bad shape, skinny and hungry. She still had two kittens but the one time we located them, so moved them, so I just put food and water out for her every morning. She is very wild and not friendly to humans, but she will sit there now, so I can put food out. I will still feed her, she is a beautiful calico cat, and I do not think she has ever had human contact, but I enjoy her anyway.

baby birds and kitties

In between my house and my garage, I have a roof covered porch, we call the breezeway. It is a lovely cool spot with flowers and a table and a grill. Well, right now a wren family decided to move into my decorator birdhouse, kicked the flowers out of the birdhouse opening and moved in. I told her the house was crooked but she ignored me. Now we have baby birds, noisy baby birds, I can't see them but I hear them. If I go out and sit on the breezeway with my coffee she sits up there and chews me out.
My son lives next door, and he came for coffee before work this morning, and said "what is that noise?" Baby birds, I said, No, he says it sounds like a cat, WELL, a stray cat, we have been seeing in the neighborhood, decided to have her kittens in an old chest that I use for a little table to hold a plant. I covered it with a tablecloth and Mrs, Cat decided to have her kittens under it. Now everytime I go out I get growled at by a cat and scolded by mrs. Wren. Now , my son says, guess what, now I have a birdnest with baby birds in it, in my garage. I live by a creek, and there is all kinds of animals there, I hope they do not find out about my maternity ward. I will definitely be in trouble.
I have to admit, Mrs. Cat looks like she is starving, so I fed her!!! I know I should not have, but she is a momma and she needs her strength, and she is still hissing at me, but if I leave her alone, she may get used to us. She is eating the food I left out for her.

keeping name

I am keeping glory2001, it stands for one of my favorite Bon Jovi songs, Blaze of Glory, signifying my love of westerns, Bon Jovi, and music, so it stays.
I have been trying to get the weeds out of my veggie garden, so far it is an even race between me and the weeds. I will keep trying.
I went back to curves today,and I am going to continue and get back in shape. I need to keep going and keep busy.
I am still buried in paper work, but when I get off of this here computer, I will get a couple more papers done. Finish up the bills, and make sense of my book keeping.
My son Eric, (the coach) came home to pick up his son, who has been staying with me, and to go to his and twin's 20th class reunion. They had a good time, and while he was here, he cooked some pork and beef brisket on the grill for me, I gave them some and now I can munch on the meat, add some noodles left over, and I do not have to cook for days. I will add a salad and it will tasty, and healthy. I might have to have a bowl of ice cream for dessert, which means I really need to keep going to curves.
I am going to try to keep my mood up, even though tomorrow is the month anniversary of my husbands death. It feels like ten years since I have seen him, and I have good and bad moments. Today I received a notice that an old friend(a girl, but not a girl friend) of Jim's read in the Springfield paper that he passed away, and sent a memorial to the VFW in his honor. He would have been surprised and so very pleased that Ann remembered him so well.
The paper work calls me, so I had better scoot.

new blog name

I use glory2001 as a pen name , my real name is Jan Christian, and I wonder if anybody has any suggestions for a new name(be nice).

trying to keep busy

I am trying to keep busy and not feel sad, so I am turning to my garden outside, and clutter busting. My veggie garden is coming along, but I have bought flowers and they are not put in pots. It is time to fend off the blues, my grandson is going to be with me a couple days. He will help keep me up, I need to help him learn how to move on from losing grandpa.
I have decided to check out my cookbooks, and learn to cook for just me, and once in a while my son(who is a bachelor and lives next door.). This summer I thinking crockpot meals with stuff from my veggie garden.

Its been two weeks

In a way, I am worse, there are more moments that come up, that choke me up. They are not what I expected. I changed the fridge to hold foods that I like and it was so different than what "we" ate, that I feel guilty that I changed it.
When I do go shopping for grocerys, friends and neighbors come up to me, and say "Oh you poor thing" and give me a hug. The last time I went, it was 6 hugs event. Hmmm, I am not sure I am comfortable with it.
My kids call all the time, my daughter expected me to fall apart, and when she heard me informing her brothers, that they were not to make decisions for me, I speak for myself, she said she was worried less, She still calls to see how I am, and I assured her I am working on this thing, and she can help(she lives a 14 hour trip away)on the phone with all this electronic bill paying my husband started to do. One of the twins lives an hour and a half away and he calls every day, to see how I am . His twin brother and my brother(they both live on each side of me.) call me also, every day, and inquires.
I am definitely loved,but I just do not know what to tell them. I wake expecting him to have made the coffee, and waiting for me to have coffee with. It comes back to me, and then I have a "moment." I just keep going, and fuss with my garden, the house, and all the large amount of details, of his dying and his estate, and establishing my future monetary future. I keep trying and I hope I can get through this, with my sense of humor.

a week later

It is has been a week, we had visitation, the funeral. My kids were great, My daughter returned home after being here two weeks. My one twin, just left for home and job. The other twin lives next door. I have just finished all the thank you cards. Now I have to talk to Social Security, insurances etc etc.
Medical bills, funeral bills are all piling in, but I am numb, confused, hurt and angry. I want him back here, but I know that is not possible.
I will try to get it together, but it will not be easy. I have never understood the word - alone - before. I do now. kids, friends family can't fill this particular empty spot. I am not a whiner, I just decided I need to vent, but I know it will not change anything.
I will take one step at a time, I guess. later!!!

Husband passed away

My husband passed away this morning at 5:25 a.m. of Cancer of the bladder, and a bacterial infection.

12 hours at hospitl

I was at the hospital for 12 hours, he had tests, then trying to decide what we are going to do after he has to leave hospital. He absolutely helpless right now, I can't move him or lift him. so have to deal with insurance people. He is not sleeping, infection is some better, but he can't have chemo till he gets rid of infection. We do not know if chemo brought on the infection so more confusion and decisions. Life has changed 500% in the last two months. All I do is hospital, doctors and insurance. I am getting tired, tired, tired

husband;s complications

My husband had his first chemo, a double dose, it knocked him for a loop, and it cause him to get a bacterial infection of the urine, then the blood, he is in serious condition, but we hope at this time, he can finish him chemo. The chemo will only give him some more time, and maybe inprove his symptoms, but if it causes the infection to come back, we do not know if he can tolerate this. I am going day by day, do not know what else to do. I guess I will vent on this page. I am not ready to let go, but he is showing signs that he is ready to let go. He is tired, he hurts, he can't walk, but we have a small window of time, maybe we can improve things for awhile. I am running out of optimism.

time and cancer

Time, what a small word but what a large concept. I have come to realize that we think we have alot of it(time) but we do not. My husband is diagnosed with bladder cancer, and it aggressive. When he had symptoms it had already progressed from bladder to prostrate, liver and lungs. He is starting chemo, hopefully it will delay the progression and make him more comfortable than he is.
I go from denial, to optimism, to being to tired to think of how to feel. I am trying to concentrate on my gardens and clutter busting to keep busy when I am not helping him. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I must keep trying and I will try to get my spirits up. try try try
One of the things that confuse me is that people ask me - How are You? I say fine, what am I suppose to be, I am not sure. I think they feel that I should be mourning him already but that is silly, I feel I should be enjoying his company and making the best of it. The sadness can come later. At least, I am trying to keep it for later.
I also am going to rename this blog and eliminate my other one. any suggestions!! The other blog is glory 2001, my internet name and the other blog is name is part my maiden name - Wyatt and part married name Christian. Which should I keep or eliminate or come up with a new name.

I am back

I am back with a short note, to say my computer has been acting goofy, so we sent it to our friend who fixed it, so I will try to be on here more(again)
I am also spring house cleaning, so this note will be short, two rooms down, and 5 to go. Then to my basement and to my son's basement(we own his house, and my crafts and antiques are there. I am downsizing! Oh okay, I will try, I am the original packrat. The two rooms I have done look so good, I think I am actually going to get it done this time.

good weather

Yesterday and today have been sunny, still a little chilly, but a small sign that spring may be coming. It is a beautiful day today, kinda windy, but it is better than all that snow we have this winter.
I went to curves today, and came home and started to get a little organized. I am going to start by project for my daughter's old room, but I am going to just do a little everyday, and not wear myself (and my arthritic neck and back)out. I am going to keep trying to get organizing ideas for the room. My problem is that I DO NOT LIKE TO THROW THINGS AWAY. There I have admitted it, I am my grandmother Wyatt's grandaughter, because I am a packrat. I will start small and work my way up to throwing stuff away, or giving it away.
I am also going to start planning my veggie and flower gardens for this year. I love love love to do that.
Well, more tomorrow.

I am back

I have been lazy and not blogging lately. I will try in the future to be better. All I have been doing is reading, facebook, and games on the computer. I have so much to do that I guess, I just can't get going.
I have been having trouble sleeping because of my osteoarthritis in my neck. It cause severe pain when laying down, and it is very hard to sleep sitting up.
I need to get going spring is coming, and I need to redo my daughters room, which has become a toy room for the grandkids, who are not 11, 12, and 14 so they do not really play with the toys anymore. I am going to put a daybed, with a trundle bed underneath, in the room, and on the other side, an spot where I can do greeting cards and scrapbook. I will use the double closet for supplies, instead of toys. It seems as if talking about it doesn't accomplish much.
I will try to write in here more often, hopefully more interesting. Any ideas?

spring gardens

I just talked about spring and gardens yesterday, I got in the mail today, two flower and veggie catalogs, and one email from a company. I am ready!
I also got a new book called Shadows of Lancaster written my Mindy Starns Clark. I read her other book called Whispers of the Bayou. A very good book, I hope this one is equally good.

What is everybody up to

Hi there, I am doing fine, making plans, trying to stay warm in this cold Illinois weather. I have been invited on a trip with my two aunts, my Aunt's daughter, and her daughter(my cousins, ha ha), my daughter, and myself. We are planning on taking a trip in August to Novia Scotia, and Prince Edwards Island, for ten days. I wasn't going to go, but my one aunt is 83 and I have decided that this is a trip that I should not miss. It should be great.

Also what is everybody else reading or listening to? I love all books, just started a Janet Evonivich book, a couple Nora Roberts, and looking for new books. I love all music, but I thrive on Bon Jovi, Big and Rich, and Broadway(I know, what a combination.) I love all country, bluegrass, pop, etc.

New Year

Well, I will try this again, I just wrote a log blog, but my internet provider decided to kick me off and it took me an hour to get back on.
Well, here it goes again. We had a great Christmas, my daughter and her kids came back from Maryland, and between sharing her kids with her ex(they are friendly)and their friends from Springfield, Ill. where they used to live. we had a great two weeks with them. Christmas Eve was with our son Eric(his son was with his mom) and then home for Christmas, it was nice. Eric went with his girlfriend for Christmas day, so we had a mini Christmas the next Sunday(that is when his came home from his mom's. I am getting use to this split holidays, you have to go with the flow. It worked out and everybody had a great time
The sunday everybody was at my house,Julie, her kids, Eric, his son, his girlfriend, and his twin brother Gary, too. So all three kids were together. I was sick, and did not tell anybody. After they left, I passed out, scaring my husband half to death. It seems I had the flu and was a touch dehydrated. It took about a week to recover. There is not much medicine they can give for this flu, just nausea pills, and pills to stop going(if you know what I mean).
So for New Years Eve(our 39 wedding anniversary.), I had the flu, and for our anniversary, I gave my husband the flu. We sent our daughter and her kids to Springfield for New Years Eve, but when they came, they still did not get the flu, thank goodness.
This year I want to accomplish,
finally cleaning my basement,
putting all my pictures in albums,
getting back to my crafts,(which are greeting cards, learning cross stitch, scrapbooking
and many more
putting my genealogy records in order.
organizing and cleaning out my recipes and cookbooks.
and last but not least is- blogging on a regular basis

Now that I have put these goals in writing maybe I will accomplish them, it worked last fall,except the clean the basement part.
I will be talking to ya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!