I have not been on here for awhile, so I thought I would simplify the design and decide later, if I want to make it different. It has been one year, but sometimes it feels like 5 or ten years since I have seen him or sat down and talked to him. I miss the morning coffee time, talking over family, and the world, or just sitting quietly together. The kids and grandkids miss him every day also, I know one of his worries or thoughts was that we would not give him a single thought again. He was so wrong, I think of him hourly. Every time I make a decision, I worry, would he like this? I know, I must make new decisions and new paths but it is so hard.
I read, in a little book, my friends gave me, that it was all right to make new decisions, or to change things, and it did not make the past wrong but it was a "new all right"
I have been lonely, sitting in crowds, I am one in a room full of couples, but that is all right, I will get used to this, as I believe I will walking this path of life alone, from now on. A new future, with a wonderful past. I am trying to make a new resolution to write on here a couple of days a week or more.
I just thought of something my husband used to say to people, when he was leaving and may not see them for awhile, he would say. "See you in the next life! Well, Jim, see you in the next life and will keep your memories in this life.
Well, I will be talking to you guys in the near future, till then, stay safe!
1 comment:
Hi Jan,
A year has passed quickly hasnt it?
But then again sometimes the days are long.
I cant relate to your loss of Jim, but I know that 20 years on I still miss my mum and dad just as much as ever.
I still think of things I want to tell them, especially my dad with family history, and now I have grandchildren that they will never see.
I am not left to make decisions alone like you are, I am a grown up and our rolls were already switching, but I do understand the void and uncertainty.
Life goes on, is what they always say, and it does, but it will never be the same again.
Time is a great healer and the first year and the first anniversary are the hardest I think.
God bless Jan, you will get there, and Jim will still be there, you will always have your memories.
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