In a way, I am worse, there are more moments that come up, that choke me up. They are not what I expected. I changed the fridge to hold foods that I like and it was so different than what "we" ate, that I feel guilty that I changed it.
When I do go shopping for grocerys, friends and neighbors come up to me, and say "Oh you poor thing" and give me a hug. The last time I went, it was 6 hugs event. Hmmm, I am not sure I am comfortable with it.
My kids call all the time, my daughter expected me to fall apart, and when she heard me informing her brothers, that they were not to make decisions for me, I speak for myself, she said she was worried less, She still calls to see how I am, and I assured her I am working on this thing, and she can help(she lives a 14 hour trip away)on the phone with all this electronic bill paying my husband started to do. One of the twins lives an hour and a half away and he calls every day, to see how I am . His twin brother and my brother(they both live on each side of me.) call me also, every day, and inquires.
I am definitely loved,but I just do not know what to tell them. I wake expecting him to have made the coffee, and waiting for me to have coffee with. It comes back to me, and then I have a "moment." I just keep going, and fuss with my garden, the house, and all the large amount of details, of his dying and his estate, and establishing my future monetary future. I keep trying and I hope I can get through this, with my sense of humor.
No comments:
Post a Comment