time and cancer

Time, what a small word but what a large concept. I have come to realize that we think we have alot of it(time) but we do not. My husband is diagnosed with bladder cancer, and it aggressive. When he had symptoms it had already progressed from bladder to prostrate, liver and lungs. He is starting chemo, hopefully it will delay the progression and make him more comfortable than he is.
I go from denial, to optimism, to being to tired to think of how to feel. I am trying to concentrate on my gardens and clutter busting to keep busy when I am not helping him. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I must keep trying and I will try to get my spirits up. try try try
One of the things that confuse me is that people ask me - How are You? I say fine, what am I suppose to be, I am not sure. I think they feel that I should be mourning him already but that is silly, I feel I should be enjoying his company and making the best of it. The sadness can come later. At least, I am trying to keep it for later.
I also am going to rename this blog and eliminate my other one. any suggestions!! The other blog is glory 2001, my internet name and the other blog is name is part my maiden name - Wyatt and part married name Christian. Which should I keep or eliminate or come up with a new name.