Summer

The summer has done too fast, but it also has been a difficult one with the hot hot humid weather. I had a wonderful vacation with my kids and grandkids in Gatlinburg,
dollywood, and Pigeonforge, Tennessee. Stayed in a condo and it was absolutely fun and wonderful to be with my kids and grandkids for 7 days, we felt Jim there also. This was a trip that Jim and I had wanted to do for a long time.
I am trying to change my layout on this blog, but I can't seem to get the sunflower edge out, it was jellypages, and I want to use the blogger one on here but I can't get the sunflower edge to go away.
I am tryng to be bold and connecting my blog to several outlets where more people can read it, hmmmm, I do not know if I will like this, but I will jump in and try it.
Today my grown son,Gary, who I know is grown but he has pneumonia, and the mom in me is helping with his illness.I guess, he will have to live with my help. He is too sick to fight me, ha ha.
I have decided to cut down the veggie garden next year, I am buried in squash and cucumbers, and the tomatoes are arriving quicker than I can eat or give them away.
In Sept, the other twin, Eric is marrying a lovely lady named Kathleen. They look like they are going to be very happy. They each have a son, and I think they all get along. I am happy for them, and am welcoming Kathleen into the family.
My daughter and her kids,Justin and Kelsey, in Maryland are busy getting ready for the upcoming school season and soccer games. My grandson, Sean(Erics son) is going out for football for the first time, he is an eighth grader. I am glad they are active and healthy.
I will add more later.

Jim passed away one year today

I have not been on here for awhile, so I thought I would simplify the design and decide later, if I want to make it different. It has been one year, but sometimes it feels like 5 or ten years since I have seen him or sat down and talked to him. I miss the morning coffee time, talking over family, and the world, or just sitting quietly together. The kids and grandkids miss him every day also, I know one of his worries or thoughts was that we would not give him a single thought again. He was so wrong, I think of him hourly. Every time I make a decision, I worry, would he like this? I know, I must make new decisions and new paths but it is so hard.
I read, in a little book, my friends gave me, that it was all right to make new decisions, or to change things, and it did not make the past wrong but it was a "new all right"
I have been lonely, sitting in crowds, I am one in a room full of couples, but that is all right, I will get used to this, as I believe I will walking this path of life alone, from now on. A new future, with a wonderful past. I am trying to make a new resolution to write on here a couple of days a week or more.
I just thought of something my husband used to say to people, when he was leaving and may not see them for awhile, he would say. "See you in the next life! Well, Jim, see you in the next life and will keep your memories in this life.
Well, I will be talking to you guys in the near future, till then, stay safe!

I did it

Well, I did it, I sent it out, so here we go. If I have said anything about anyone that they do not like, I plead insanity. I didn't do it, it was my invisible twin. Well here it is good or bad. This could be a mistake. I can't hide anymore.

The name glory2001

The name of my blog is one that I made up, when I first got online. I was afraid to use my real name. so it based on the year I got a computer, and one of my favorite bonjovi songs Blaze of Glory. Now I am thinking maybe since the blog is about me, I need to make a name change. My real name is Janice, usually called Jan. Any suggestions? Be nice now. I am going to for the first time give my family my blog addy. Yes, I confess, I have wanted people to read it but was afraid to give them my blog addy. Well here goes, I think I am going to do it, I think I am going to do it, I think .....

I am not really missing

I have not blogged since Christmas, I do not know why, well maybe I do. I am kind of feel I am in limbo. It has been 8 1/2 months since my husband passed, and I thought I was doing okay, but it is like the little things. You go to supper with friends and you feel like the single lone lurker. They do not make me feel that way, I just do.
I love to think about the the house we built together, raising the kids, the fights, the happy family time, the great vacations, we went on in the 10 years of his life, he was not a traveler but grew to love it. We traveled the local roads, not the interstate. The last big trip we went from Illinois to Colorado, visiting with family in condo in the mountains, and then drove to Mobile Alabama, on all local roads, to his navy reunion, and the closed the circle to home to Illinois. These memories do not bother me, I love them and enjoy them.

What my problem is the trips we DID NOT GET TO TAKE, the regret of his not getting to do it, the awful feeling that those trips are never to be again. I feel so bad he will not see our grandkids grow up, and so wanted to be a ornery old man, that argued with everybody,and get away with it.(he was practicing that one all the time, lol.)He will not get to enjoy the fruits of his labor, many things running through mind.

I do keep busy with friends, shopping, cleaning out stuff, talking to my kids that do not live in our town, I am planning the spring garden, but sometimes when I am with these people, friends, family, aquaintances, I feel inside absolutely alone. I am fearful of being one of these whiny widows that feel sorry for their selves, so I try not to say these things to friends and family. I decided maybe if I write about it and vent on this blog it may help. Hopefully I will not be long when I blog again, Thanks for listening.

Well, I am home from my son's house, where we spent Christmas, and then had a 16th birthday party for my grandson. We drove to the party in a blizzard, back to my sons house in a blizzard, and on all snow and ice home to my house. My grandkids will be here this week, having spent last week with the other grandparents and aunts and uncles. This week I get them,well along with my great daughter. I am making chicken and noodles for supper, and ham and beans tomorrow.
I got an ipod and a Nintendo DS, for Christmas, I already have some songs downloaded but lots more to go. I am so new at this, but I love having this ipod. No more carrrying around cds and my walkman.
I also got some really cool pics of me with my grandkids, and the frames talk. Awesome. My other son gave me a framed picture with the words grandkids on it, in big letters, and then in cutouts in the letters are various pics of my grandkids with their grandpa, my late husband. It is awesome.
I fell a week before Christmas, breaking a rib and bruising the muscles in both arms, I am in a great deal of pain, but have decided to ignore it until all of my family leave. then I can deal with it. I just have to outwait the broken rib and work on my arms, the muscles are bruised and they (I feel) pissed at me. LOL.
Well as my mother used to say, it is too far from my heart to kiil me, so get over it. She was a kind and wonderful woman, but also a tough lady.
Well, that is all for today. I am hoping to keep writing in this every day, and get readership up.
Be good and enjoy your day!!!

Merry Christmas

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I do not think anybody reads this much, so maybe my new years resolution is too get people to read this, and to keep it up.
I hope everybody is healthy and safe this holiday weekend. I will be spending it with my kids and grandkids. It will be a hard Christmas but I have decided to celebrate my husband life and the kids and grandkids he loved, and not treat it with sadness but with lovely memories. He will be a part of this Christmas season in wonderful memories and in the faces of his grandkids, who loved and remember him with love and laughter. love Janice (glory2001) Christian